Define me

Yeah, its got to be about me. Sangeet once called me a narcissist. I think he just used that word because he must have learnt in it that day, but still it did mean something to me. It didnt make me go " WHat me ?! " . I just thought " cool , atleast someone can define me". Lately, I have been looking to find my place in this world. So the reason I am blogging is to publish my ideas and hopefully understand whether several people feel this way too.

I am 21 now, less than a fortnight to my birthday. I dont want to turn 22. It just means I past that age of stupidity where everything wrong can be written off as fault due to my age. I know I have to get serious after I turn 22. Its just the way things work I guess. Pretty soon all this fun would have dissappeared and it would have morphed so suddenly into a life of responsibilities. Then after that it will be all family and stuff. Some of my friends are in so called " love" and they pretty much have decided what they want to be doing for the rest of their lives .

WOW, REST OF THEIR LIVES. My biggest worry right now is that I have to cook tomorrow and I hate going to the market to buy groceries.Hel,I have a class at 8.30 in the morning and I have a couple of projects due and a couple of meetings tomorrow and my biggest worry is that I have to cook tomorrow ?? How immature is that. I am still happy being young at heart. Many say thats a gift to have. Lately, I have been trying to understand the path that lies before me and how its going to take me to where I want to end up.

I wonder if everyone feels this way. If everyone needs to understand their place in the world. I have an idea of what my life should be. I have always tried to place myself in this world. What am I supposed to be, engineer, manager , researcher, a bum ? How is my life supposed to be ? Should I want more in life or should I learn to accept what I get?

The where I am  supposed to be is the worst question, Chennai, India, Bangalore, USA, rest of the world?The WHERE would partly answer the WHAT and the HOW. It is the answer to this question which would define me the most. Till now I was so sure this was the one question I had the answer to, but now this is question which confuses me the most.

This whole process of me attempting to define myself and understanding my role in this world has been a puzzle.I dont believe in people when tell me" enjoy life as it comes". Sounds too hippie to me. I cannot be immature in thinking that life is a stroll. We live in an age where the one who plans and proceeds succeeds .If we have no idea of where our finish is, how do we even know which route to take. 

I believe that the next 6 months will be understanding the path I am about to take.Huge changes will occur either volutarily or involuntarily.These six months I believe will help me understand not just what I want to be, what I am now too. The future is now. There s something I have always wanted to say from Jerry Maguire: " If your hearts empty, your mind doesnt matter."